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I told her no at the last request and meltdown. I had to have the “Do you want to behave or do you want to go to bed right now” talk w her in front of everyone, and while all understood and were supportive but all I wanted to do was sit down and relax and then I started thinking about her dad, who left about 18 months ago after he decided being a dad and a family man and running a business together “was too much” after all (and I suspect there was another gal), and then I get angry thinking about how he could do that, if it was “too much” for him and I both, how in the heck could he leave me to do it all by myself? We used to do the biz together but now I do all that on my own, plus the writing, plus 80% of the childcare, all the day to day during the week, driving them to and from everything, homework, plus do all the house and yard and all that work, etc. It’s a LOT. But it is what it is, at least for now. I truly believe the way it is supposed to work and the way it works best is to have two parents, that way when one is tired or whatever, there’s a tag team hand off. Financially it’s a two boat thing rather than it all being on me (very stressful and scary, even tho it’s going well I always worry what if…). Just having the other parent to go to, to talk to, to get support, to get backup, to share the load with — all that I keenly feel the absence of.